Happy Father's Day. Today you may have received a tie or a coffee cup or a picture frame. These are all wonderful presents and we both know that it is the thought behind the present that is most important. They brought a smile to you today and will tomorrow when you use it. But I would like to offer you a present that will bring a smile to your face every day for the rest of your life.

The present I am offering is a wonderful relationship with your kids.

You get to choose the relationship you have with your kids. Your wife doesn't get to choose, your parents don't get to choose and even your kids don't get to chose. You have all the power.

I am sure you look around at others fathers and their kids and sometimes you are a little bit jealous. Their kids give them a high five and a hug when they get to home base. Those fathers know exactly what to say when their kid loses an important soccer game.

Or perhaps you look at fathers of more grownup kids who have a great relationship with their kids. Their kids do well in school, they go on ski vacations together and these Dads speak lovingly of Thanksgiving dinner.

Perhaps you believe you could never have this. Well your wrong. Recent psychological research shows that you can change your beliefs, and furthermore, by changing your beliefs you can change your personality. Don't you want that “Dad personality” that these wonderful Dad's have.

So what do you have to do? The absolute first thing that you would have to do is believe that you can! Believe that you can be the kind of Dad that has a wonderful relationship with your kids. Believe that you can be the kind of Dad whose kids actually enjoy his company. If you don't believe you can, then you can't! Once you believe that you can be a great Dad, it is just a matter of tweaking a few beliefs here and there that will give you that great Dad mindset, that will create you as a great father.

It was James Joyce who said “I am tomorrow, or some future day, what I establish today. I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day.” So what should you start “establishing” or believing?

Firstly, that you and your son or daughter can have a great relationship in which you share your hopes and wishes, accomplishments and disappointments. You can share your feelings with your child and you can make your child feel secure enough that they will share their feelings with you. The first step here is to start making them feel secure. That means keeping your word to them, respecting them and their opinions, listening to them when they speak and asking them their opinion. All of these things make kids feel respected and cared for, in a word, it makes them feel secure. If they know that they can feel secure with you, they will feel secure and this will lead to a wonderful relationship.

Next, you have to believe that your kids trust you. Are you trustworthy with your kids? Do you have integrity around your kids? This is actually very easy unless you've made a mistake. Most kids are trusting, perhaps even too trusting. That is why we have to warn them to be wary of strangers. Your kids will trust you until you tell them that you will be home to tuck them in and you get home an hour later – for the tenth time. They will trust you until you tell them you will make it to the baseball game and you don't even make it to the pizza shop afterward. Things come up, but just communicate with your kids as soon as you know. Practice as much integrity with your kids as you expect your business partner or the people who work for you to practice with you.

And finally, you have to be sincerely interested in your kids. You have to believe that what goes on in their life is more important, than watching the evening news, playing fantasy football or checking your stocks. If you believe that what goes in your child's life is more important than just about anything else you could be doing, you will be sincerely interested in them.

These three simple beliefs will bring you the ultimate relationship with your kids and truly make every day of the rest of your life Father's Day!