I just read a fascinating study by Dr. Suzanne Margiano of the University of Connecticut and four of her colleagues about using visualizations. This could be so helpful for kids who are having trouble in school and, quite frankly, for adults as well.

Dr. Margiano took 3 fourth grade boys who were intelligent kids but who were having trouble behaving in school. This, of course, is nothing new for many teachers. Unfortunately, what happens, way to often, is we give these kids Ritalin and they calm down. This is really easy for the parents and the teachers, but it may not be too healthy for the kids. As my wife, a kindergarten teacher, puts it, the kids lose their personality. It is like they have been wiped blank while they are on Ritalin.

And it is nothing new for many of us. We are intelligent, we know what to do, but we have trouble doing it. We are used to doing something one way and we keep doing it that way. Perhaps we even “define” ourselves by being the joker in the group, or the intelligent one on the group. And we realize that this does not serve us well and we want to change our ways.

Back to the study! Dr Margiano watched these kids for a few weeks and recorded their behavior. It was as expected, the researchers found a lot of evidence of the kids not behaving well and some evidence of the kids doing the “right” thing. Then Dr. Margiano and the other researchers videotaped the kids and, as we teachers say, “caught them being good!” They videotaped the kids acting the way they are supposed to. Then the researchers had the kids watch the videotape of the good behavior 2 or 3 times a week for 3 weeks. They showed the kids a videotape of themselves being good! And it helped!

The kids started being good in class instead of acting up and getting in trouble. The researchers even think that they planted false memories in these fourth graders.

Now, ordinarily, you would think planting false memories would be bad, but here it is great! They planted a false memory of the kids being good and the kids started being good.

How can you use this with your kids? Well, I don't think you have to videotape them. If your child has trouble sitting still in class, it would help to have them remember a class where they did behave. In the morning, go over it with them. What did they feel? What were they doing? What were they thinking? You can help them “re-live” the memory and then help them transfer it to their present day class. Many people also believe that visualization can do this for you.

Many of the “greats” in the field of personal development tell us that when we visualize ourselves having accomplished our goals it helps us to actually accomplish them. And many of these VERY successful people do visualizations every morning. Perhaps the most famous example of this is when Babe Ruth pointed to the bleachers in center field in Game 3 of the 1932 World Series against the Chicago Cubs and then on the next pitch he hit, sent the baseball flying more than 440 feet (135 meters) right into the bleachers past center field! There are many stories of Olympic athletes using visualization.

One of the most convincing is Billy Mills who won gold in the 10,000 meter race in 1964. To win the race, not only did he run faster than the other runners, he ran 50 seconds faster than he himself had ever run 10,000 meters. After the race, he showed reporters his diary where he wrote about his visualizations. He is still the only American to have ever won the 10,000 meter Olympic race.

So why not try this with your son or daughter? Help them to visualize behaving well in class. Perhaps they can visualize that every time they start to get fidgety, they take a deep breath and calm down. Or perhaps they can visualize before a math test that when they don't know the answer right away they don't panic but go through a list of math procedures to try. Bottom line, they have to visualize themselves being successful.

This can skyrocket their success in school and in sports. It also prepares them for success in life. And, after all, that is what we want most for our kids!  

If you try this with your child (or yourself), please send me an email and let me know how it went. You can write to me at DrShaya@PositiveParentPlus.com